How Can I Live without her?
–By Mark Liu, LMFT
Years ago, in my journal, I (Mark) wrote “Everything comes to an end. However, I never had expected that “everything coming to an end” came to me so suddenly and so soon, catching me totally unguarded” when my wife passed away in 2006. I further wrote, “Loss of my wife feels like being cut in half.” My whole world instantly shattered, and I felt like a walking dead because of that cruel fact. To this day, while I look the same in the eyes of those around me, I know that forever I have become a different person within.
Being a Christian, I am hopeful in the sense of knowing that I have a heavenly eternal home with God; I will be joining my wife there, where there will be “no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” However, this hope does not exempt me from the pain of losing her.
For people who have suffered the loss of a loved one (such as a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or baby through miscarriage or stillbirth, etc.) suffer unbearably and simultaneously in the mind, body and spirit domains, which almost always represents a massive threat to existence of our identities. People who suffer such significant loss often describe that experience as “a big hole that cannot be mended.” Unfortunately, the experiences and painful grieving often is not understood and inadequately supported, although unintentionally, by their friends and even family members. The encouragement in terms of positive thinking, for example, as offered by friends or family members to people who cry out “How can I live with my loss?” in despair actually cause grieving people to respond with more withdrawal and deeper despair.
With an understanding of grief from both a personal and professional perspective, in a group setting, I provide and facilitate Christian-based gentle witness and support in body, mind and spirit domains as well as guidance in exploring different meanings and coping strategies in the midst of suffering along a journey that you may have never visited before.
Author : Mark Liu M.A., LMFT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
State Approved Supervisor